The Shannara Chronicles - 'Pykon'

When discount Armin Shimmerman smiles, run.

We open with Amberle having a gratuitous sexy dream about Wil. Joy.

In order to shave some time off their vital quest, our heroes decide to cut through the nigh-mythical elven fortress of Pykon, where Cephalo claims his parents were held and tortured. I'm not sure if these were his actual parents or his owners or what; not clear how male Rovers be with their folks. Anyway, there's a blizzard coming in, so Moria... I mean Pykon it is.

Pykon turns out to actually exist, and to be being maintained by a creepy elf who looks like a tall version of Principal Snider from Buffy, and his half-elf daughter Mag. He's all 'hey, you're from the King? Welcome in!'

"What a world!"

Back in Arborolon, the Changeling has hidden the king's body and convinces Prince Grumpus that he has totally changed his mind and hey, here's this book of the Druid's that totally talks about the Dagda Mor killing supersword kept in the dungeons here what Allanon never mentioned. Never mid how the king suddenly reads Druid, Prince Grumpus is off to the dungeons with Catania (who is apparently an expert on the palace topography; who knew?) to get the not-at-all-evil 'Warlock Blade'*. Still; it's just for use on the Dagda Mor, right?

So, yeah; having seen Allanon go all black eyes trying to snap Bandon out of his 'my soul is in a freaking demon cage' coma, Prince Grumpus is easily convinced to stab him up a treat with the Warlock Blade, which I think fairly constitutes bad to worse.

In the Breakline, Prince Smugchops, Captain Twofer and Slanter find a bunch of demon-slaughtered gnomes. Slanter steals a horse and rides off, but returns after the two elves have done some routine relationship maundering to say that he's convinced that demons are worse than elves, yo.

"Pass the rufie to the left-hand side."

Amberle and Eretria share a gratuitous PG-13 hot-tub. Sniderelf treats the travelers to a fine meal of stew and rohypnol. Mag takes a drugged bowl to Wil, but bonds with him before he blacks out. Sniderelf hangs the others on hooks and tortures the remaining extras to death before starting on Amberle, angry that her grandfather set him up as Lord High Executioner during the war and then disowned him afterwards. Pykon was redacted and he's been torturing lost travelers - and occasionally raping them, to judge by the presence of Mag - ever since.

Wil convinces Mag to bust him out and Eretria breaks loose by being awesome. Wil shows up and gets a princess snog for his trouble; Eretria does not. The Reaper, being toxic sludge explosion-proof, kicks in the door and kills Captain Dipshit when he tries to hold the narrow way.

Slanter shows his new elf buddies the demon camp and vast army.

Cephalo escapes by zipline, but then cuts the line so that the love triangle and the demon all fall into an icy chasm. The End.

Not the end? Oh well...

* For the uninitiated, the villain of the skipped first book of the series and historical mastermind of all race wars was called the Warlock King.