The Flash - 'Duet'

The old razzle-dazzle

Okay folks, it's crossover time. Not sold? Would it help if I said musical crossover time?

J'onn and Mon-el bring Kara across to Earth-1, where our mysterious villain appears in STAR Labs. Barry and Wally confront him, but the villain apparently has super speed too. Wally, still rattled from his run-in with Savatar, gets smacked down and Barry is put under the whammy and finds himself in the club where Kara is singing 'Moon River'. It's a decent enough rendition(1), but our heroes soon learn that they are powerless nightclub singers in the employ of a gangster named Cutter Moran (who looks just like Malcolm Merlyn,) who wants them to perform original material. As they try to puzzle this out, the architect of these shenanigans – dubbed the Music Meister by Barry – pops up in somewhat intangible form. He tells them that this world was created from their minds and their shared love of musicals, and encourages them to follow the script and sing, doing his own musical number ('Put a Little Love in Your Heart') to get them in the spirit.

In the real world, J'onn joins Wally and Cisco to track down and capture the Music Meister, despite the fact that he is drawing off and using Barry and Kara's powers. Kara and Barry are recruited by Digsby Foss (Joe West) and his partner (Martin Stein) to track down their missing daughter(2) Millie (Iris). They find Millie with Tommy Moran (Mon-el), son of Cutter, and the two declare that they are in love. In order to expedite the resolution of the movie, Kara and Barry encourage the two to tell their parents how they feel. After initial anger, the three parents sing a touching number from Guys and Dolls ('More I Cannot Wish You') and then quietly declare war on each other.

 

Daddies' little girl.

The Music Meister tells Iris and Mon-el that he can't save Kara and Barry; only they can, if they love them enough. Kara and Barry prepare a jaunty original number ('I'm Your Super Friend'), but then the gang war breaks out and everyone gets shot, including Barry and Kara. In the nick of time, Cisco is able to vibe Iris and Mon-el into the dream. The dying Kara accepts Mon-el's apology and forgives him, and Barry and Iris reaffirm their love, and everyone wakes up just fine to find the Music Meister free and explaining that he just wanted to help them all realise their love, because he always roots for the good guys. Kara, Mon-el and J'onn go home, and Barry serenades Iris ('Running Home to You') before proposing for the right reasons.

I am so much in two minds about this one. Musical episodes are a crapshoot and I for one prefer original songs to jukebox in a TV show. The jukebox numbers here – 'Moon River', 'Put a Little Love in Your Heart' and 'More I Cannot Wish You' – are well done, but it's the unbridled joy of 'I'm Your Super Friend' that really works best, and I'd have liked to have seen more of the songs specifically tailored for the show. Also… I have to say that I am not loving the idea that on top of being gorgeous and the centre of their universes, Barry and Kara have some sort of extraplanar being looking out for their romantic wellbeing (or indeed that Kara is supposed to be objectively better off with Mon-el at all.)

 

Musical episode and medical drama.

The Music Meister himself is an oddity, and oddly similar in both appearance and method to Mr Mxyzptlk. In fact, with his claims to be rooting for the good guys and suggestion of extradimensional viewing of events in the lives of the characters, he's kind of like Bat-Mite, if Bat-Mite was a shipper, and I am so against the idea of introducing fifth-dimensional shippers into the Arrowverse (although I confess I kind of wanted him to go over to Star City after this and get all up in Oliver's grill about something.)

'Duet' is no 'Once More With Feeling' or 'The Bitter Suite', but it's certainly no 'Lyre, Lyre, Hearts on Fire' either. Ultimately, I think its greatest failing is that it doesn't come up to the standards set in the Batman the Brave and the Bold episode, 'The Mayhem of the Music Meister', which crowbarred in a previously unseen Batman/Black Canary/Green Arrow love triangle(3) and was still awesome as anything.

(1) It's tough to try to follow a performance which convinced three generations to blank out Mickey Rooney's egregious yellowface and some of the most dubious romantic politics of a decade when recalling Breakfast at Tiffany's.

(2) Which is a nice touch, I felt.

(3) And you know how I feel about love triangles.

The Flash, Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow - 'Invasion!'

Believe it or not, this is not a good thing.

So, there was 'Medusa', and now we begin the real-deal; the mega-crossover of the four CW DC shows with episodes of The Flash, Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow all entitled 'Invasion!'(1)

Barry's contemplation of unemployment is interrupted when a space ship crash lands in the park during HR's 'STAR Labs Museum' presentation and a bunch of super-strong aliens known to Lila as 'Dominators' go rushing off into the shadows. Lacking experience in this field, Barry recruits help. First Oliver, John and Thea - the latter coming out of retirement, because aliens, right - from Star City, then Sara, Stein, Jax, Ray and Mick from the Legends, leaving Nate and Amaya to mind the Waverider. Finally, with help from the recalcitrant Cisco, he breaches the dimensional barrier and brings Kara across from Earth-38. Meanwhile, the President is kidnapped by aliens and a mysterious and very senior agent tells Lila she ought not to cross him by trying to deal with the situation.

Bloody aliens and their mind control. It's like X-COM all over again.

The team quickly runs into trouble when Oliver nominates Barry for project lead, but has to prompt him on just about everything, which at least prevents Barry from formulating any plans. Oliver suggests that they train against Supergirl. He asks her not to hold back and she doesn't, basically trouncing everyone in short order, because Supergirl.

Then Stein and Jax share the recording of future Barry, which it turns out warns them not to trust current Barry on account of his Flashpoint shenanigans. They agree to keep it secret until after the crisis, but Cisco spills the beans because he's understandably pissed that people just keep on giving Barry a break when he screws up. Learning that his attempt to save his family killed Cisco's brother, disappeared Sara Diggle(2) and all sorts, everyone except Oliver, who arguably has something of a vested interest in promoting a forgiving attitude to major fuckups, decides they don't want to work with him, instead going in without Barry or Oliver, which results in badness. The team have no real cohesion, Mick insists on calling Kara 'Skirt', the President gets vaporised and the team all get mind controlled into attacking the supergroup's temporary HQ.

Fortunately, Oliver is able to hold off the others while Barry goads Kara into chasing him and inadvertently blasting the mind control device. Unfortunately, POTUS is still in the wind, as it were(3), and moreover John, Sara, Ray, Thea and Diggle are almost immediately teleported away to who know's where.

Uh-huh.

Well, 'where' turns out to be a blissful, sun-drenched Starling City, where Oliver is about to marry Laurel Lance and take a job at Queen Consolidated, Thea is a successful nightclub owner, Sara is back in town for the wedding, Ray Palmer is engaged to Felicity Smoak, who moonlights as the assistant to the vigilante known as the Hood, aka John Diggle. Malcolm Merlyn is a good family friend, although sadly Tommy couldn't get away from his work as a doctor in Chicago(4).

Did we mention this is also their 100th episode of Arrow?

Gradually, the captives all become aware that something is wrong with their world and remember reality. Meanwhile, Felicity brings in Barry, Kara and Cisco to assist NTA in locating the missing team members. They take down a doctor with tech-based electrical powers to retrieve a component - and give Kara and Barry a chance to prove to Wild Dog that they aren't just fronting on being heroes - in order to link to a piece of alien machinery and find their friends... in outer space.

Well, there's something you don't see every day.

The captives, with varying degrees of reluctance - Thea in particular is very tempted to remain - decide to break out through the one incongruous structure in the city; the Smoak Technologies tower. They fight their way past basically every major villain they could get back for a cameo and escape into the alien ship, then into a shuttle, and are finally rescued by the Waverider.

Back at home, Stein also realises that the young woman he has been remembering since interacting with his younger self, the one that he is certain that he loves, is not some trophy wife; she is his daughter. This is pretty traumatic for him, since he never had children before. The problem is compounded when Stein begins working on a nanotech solution to the invasion and Caitlin naturally brings in Lily Stein to help, since she's a brilliant nanotechnologist (and happens to share a lot of Caitlin's style.)

Abomination!

Moving up into the finale, Mick, Nate and Amaya take Cisco and Felicity back in time to kidnap a Dominator from the first encounter where a small force of the aliens wiped out an army unit in Oregon in 1951. They themselves quickly get abducted, however, when a creepy government agent bags them and the alien and begins torturing the Dominator. Felicity and Cisco break the team out and they rescue the Dominator, unwilling to allow anything to be tortured. In thanks, the same Dominator in 2016 tells Cisco that they are here for Barry. They see metas as a threat, and Barry's temporal shenanigans are more than they can overlook. Therefore they are going to wipe out the metahuman population with a special bomb that is... kind of selective, but not very.

The creepy senior agent - who is creepy goverment agent from 1951 all growed up - insists that Earth will keep to its treaty with the Dominators whatever happens, but as Stein allows himself to bond with Lily, they create a device that will cause intense pain to a Dominator. In a final showdown, the team fight the invaders while Supergirl - to whom Oliver was earlier a complete dick - and Barry slap devices on all the Dominators on the planet, while Firestorm transmutes the meta-bomb into water. The Dominators bug out and its home for medals and champagne (literally; the new President attends the celebration to hand out secret gongs and creepy agent is sent off to Alaska.) Kara is given a dimension-hopper and everyone goes home.

This is a top-ten answer to the question 'you and whose army?'

'Invasion!' is a hell of a thing. It's not as joyous as 'World's Finest', because virtually nothing is, but it's a pretty solid, if atypical, adventure. By modifying the team in each show they make sure that everyone does something and the screen is never over full. By changing the pace for a slower second act, it keeps the action and drama from outstaying its welcome. It mixes and matches the teams well, with the only real false note being Oliver's sudden dickishness to move Kara out of the middle act of Legends of Tomorrow. The crossover also serves to restore people's faith in Barry; even Cisco, who realises that with the best will in the world, he changed things when he went back in time. I'm not ready to forgive him for Sara, however, and if Stein is later forced to go through with his original plan of erasing Lily from the world, I'm going to cut a fool. Figuratively speaking.

And yes, Kara is OP. Of course she's OP; she's Supergirl.

(1) Yes; with the exclamation mark.
(2) I'm not letting this one go either.
(3) Because he's a vapour. Too soon?
(4) Ah; actor's new job humour.

Supergirl - 'World's Finest'

For those following at home, Barry's tachyon injector puts him somewhere
between 'Flash Back' and 'Flash vs. Zoom'.

Okay, peeps; it's the crossover episode, and it is glorious.

The DEO deems Siobhan to be 'not an alien' and thus releases her back into the wild, in part perhaps because she hasn't done anything really psycho with her powers yet, and in part because she doesn't mention the flashes of a skull-faced crazy chick she keeps getting, coupled with a compulsion to do... something. Also, she sees Live Wire in her tank on the way back to the exit, because that's how good the DEO's internal security is. She visits an aunt who is a largely fraudulent magic shop owner, who tells her that the Banshee is a sort of ancestral curse, which activates when one of the women in the family is wronged. She can kill the one who wronged her or the power will make of her voice a weapon that will reach anywhere and tear her soul apart. Whee!

"You look like the racially diverse, non-threatening cast of a CW show." Oh,
Cat; you're going to regret that when the show moves next season.

So, Siobhan tries to kill Kara, blasting her out of a window with her sonic scream. Stunned, Kara is saved from a difficult-to-explain non-terminal impact when a blur of red lightning appears out of nowhere, runs up a building to catch her and zips out into the desert, announcing the arrival on Earth-4 of the Flash.

Kara is immediately 'oh no, you didn't save me,' and there's some sad faces all around as they don't know each other. They go back to CatCo for some thinking time, and Kara's instant bond with her fellow superhero sets off the green eyed monster in James something awful, tying into Cat's earlier advice that jealousy is the path to cupcakes. Or something; it was a weird metaphor, but awesome, and the cupcakes looked amazing. Also, Wynn's amusement at James's jealousy was a nice confirmation that he is okay with his status vis a vis Kara and we're not going to get any friendzone bullshit. Yay!

Ice cream, the best proof of superspeed.

So, let's pause a moment and talk about the dynamic between Kara and Barry. It's awesome, and the only thing missing from this reunion of former Glee costars is a karaoke scene. Their awkward civilian personae gel wonderfully, and the chemistry between them is just perfect. It's instant, sweet, and utterly non-romantic, and that's so refreshing to see. It's also a chance for both of them to work the lighter side of their character after some grimdark episodes all around, and I'd forgotten just how fricking adorable Gustin and Benoist both are when they smile. Similarly, Wynn's immediate bond with Barry as a fellow nerd was just brilliant. I think if he and James had both been jealous, it would have been annoying, but instead they went with something very like Barry's relationship with Cisco.

Barry wants a selfie with Kara's spaceship, because of course he does.

Kara and co take Barry straight to the DEO, where he continues to be pumped to be hanging out with an actual alien, and introduces them to the concept of a metahuman. Lucy Lane's reaction to his appearance is interesting, and it's clear that Team Supergirl have just taken to breezing in with little regard for protocol. Lucy also points out that James is jealous, and he gets all pouty. As with Wynn, I like Lucy Lane much better freed of all that love triangle baggage. I like my shows better when freed of love triangle baggage. I guess what I'm saying is that I am not a fan of love triangles. Did you notice?

"Do I look as daft as you?"

Also, villains!

Siobhan frees Live Wire and Kara goes after her with the Flash as backup. Barry is concerned that there is no plan besides 'go in, probably punching,' and honestly, when Barry Allen is questioning your strategic thinking, you've got to know that you're in trouble. I mean, this is a man who tries to lightning bolt a woman made of electricity and he thinks you need to consider your actions.

Teamed up with the newly rebranded Silver Banshee, Live Wire kicks our heroes butts and forces a retreat before going after Cat. Wynn tries to get through to Siobhan once more, but gets screamed for his troubles. The duo call out the heroes for a clash in the park, with Siobhan ironically still trying to get Supergirl out of the way so she can kill Kara.

Despite a few upgrades - scream-proof earplugs - the fight does not go much better, with Barry copping a shock and Kara taking a lightning bolt to save a helicopter. This prompts the people of the city to take her back to their hearts, however, and she is rescued by the firefighters she helped out at the start of 'Fallen'. It's all a bit Spider-Man, but quite touching.

Barry shares the technology necessary to create a civilian metahuman holding facility, then 'races' Kara so she can give him a last push through the dimensional barrier. Following relationship advice from Barry - and again, how desperate do you have to be? - she makes a move with James, who immediately turns into a zombie. No, really; apparently this is what Myriad is, although presumably there is more to it than just Non cockblocking Kara.

Sleepy Hollow - 'Dead Men Tell No Tales' (and Bones - 'The Resurrection in the Remains')

Okay; I see what you did there.

And so we come to the Bones/Sleepy Hollow crossover; or as I like to think of it, proof that Brennan is a blinkered idiot. I mean, seriously, she prides herself on detached observation without assumption, which means that she looks like a bit of a pill every time Angela's psychic or a random ghost pops up to establish that the supernatural is totes for real even in the Boniverse, even without a massive supernatural hotspot in upstate New York; a mere four hours drive from the Jeffersonian. Actually, this makes Christopher Pelant make a lot more sense, because clearly he was a motherfucking wizard; I bloody knew it!

Anyway, it is the Ween of Hallows, and a group of revelers setting up a kegger in an abandoned church stumble on a dead med student lying atop the iron coffin of a headless redcoat. Cue a visit from a certain informal investigative duo still pondering the ultimate fate of one Abraham van Brunt, patriot captain turned Hessian demon cavalier and better known as the Horseman (Headless). Of course, we know that he was actually sucked into Pandora's Box, and sure enough they soon learn - thanks to an extra awesome turn from the Angelatron, reconstructing a face from a missing skull - that this was in fact the nefarious redcoat General and probable diabolist General Howe, of shadow assassin-summoning and Ichabod-torturing fame.

"It's not nonsense, it's a spell book."

In the dead student's digs, Booth - who was, it turns out, and old mate of August Corbin's - and Abbie discover a book of spells in runic script, which contains a hidden message - This book shall lead the Witness to the skull that grants the power to resurrect the dead. Cutting ahead to 'Dead Men Tell No Tales' this suggests to me that OMFG, by her lights, Pandora is a Witness. More prosaically, the student wanted to do some Flatliners style shit with near death experiences, and so nicked the skull of a British Army necromancer from his secret grave as a good luck charm, which notably is the kind of shit that seems a little outre in Bones, but is par for the course in Sleepy Hollow.

Anyway, back in Bones Ichabod produces an authentic letter from the Jeffersonian archives; an order from George Washington that Howe's body be returned to Sleepy Hollow (even if it is mysteriously in Ichabod's handwriting.) Of course, by now the skull has turned out to be the murder weapon, and Crane breaks the case by revealing that a missing tooth had in Howe's lifetime been replaced with a French-made porcelain prosthesis (and honestly I would have watched the episode just for his disdain at the concept of fancy porcelain teeth.)

"Franklin invented sex on the beach?"

Mystery solved, the corpse is packed off for Sleepy Hollow and the four investigators retire to the Founding Fathers for a celebratory drink before Abbie and Ichabod return to Sleepy Hollow (and to Sleepy Hollow.)

Unfortunately, Pandora hijacks the transport carrying Howe's remains and uses a runic medallion to transform the decapitated skeleton into a very active zombie, promising him revenge against an old enemy: "Crane," the general hisses, in case we thought that someone might have encountered Ichabod in his patriot days and not fixated on him in an unhealthy fashion. Truly the greatest trick that Washington ever pulled was keeping Crane out of the history books.

Gotta love that 18th Century shooting stance.

Howe's hijacking interrupts the team costume bowling match - at which Ichabod runs into Zoe, who is dressed somewhat disconcertingly as sexy (seamstress) Betsy Ross, but who is the only one to recognise his natty, hand-embroidered waistcoat as a John Adams costume - especially when the General resurrects a force of redcoat zombies who prove impervious to bullets. The books eventually identify them as Draugr, virtually unstoppable undead shock troops, and the only hint of a weakness is a reference to Howe's 'primal tomb'.

With no other means of identifying Howe's original burial site (clearly not Twickenham) our heroes turn to the country's foremost forensic analyst. While Christine's Jane Goodall costume still needs finishing touches, Brennan agrees to look over the bone and determines it was originally interred in Washington's secret, unused tomb in the Capitol building. Insisting on coming along for the archaeology, they find a tomb with a Masonic lock and a booby trap fueled with unquenchable Greek Fire, prompting Ichabod to realise that the Great Manhattan Fire was caused by (not just a seamstress) Betsy Ross putting down Howe's original Draugr regiment with a multi-barreled, rapid-repeating, Greek Fire crossbow; an instrument of pure gratuity that I chose to dub the Betsy Rossbow.

"We're here for a massacre or an Iron Maiden photo shoot,
whichever comes first."

Leaving the indomitably skeptical Brennan ("She would dismiss Moloch as a tall man with a skin condition") to coo over the anthropological ramifications, Ichabod and Abbie set about planning a means to dispose of the Draugr without, you know, burning Sleepy Hollow to the ground. Their plan is to use Ichabod as bait, lure the Draugr into the stone tunnels under the city and incinerate them there, where the Greek Fire can burn itself out without taking too many houses with it.

The plan is enacted just in time, as Pandora - displaying a scary snake face which may or may not be her real visage - and Howe plot to unleash the Draugr on the unsuspecting Halloween crowds, thus reaping the fear that Pandora needs. Even with the Witnesses successful, enough fear is generated to bloom another rose (this one white) and leaving just one, a red flower, to open. The fact that Pandora is talking about fear and love at about the same moment Abbie is pushing Ichabod to ask Zoe out on a date makes me fear for the new love interest even more.

Meanwhile, Jenny and Joe have been pursuing the B-plot and trying to get a meeting with the mysterious buyer who wants the Shard of Anubis. This man, the kingpin of illegal artefact shipment, turns out to be an old military buddy of Corbin Snr, and also the target of Agent Reynolds' big investigation, leading to a clash of Abbie's worlds.