The Last Dragonslayer

Dragon and Dragonslayer

Sky's big Christmas special this year was an adaptation of Jasper fforde's The Last Dragonslayer. Jennifer Strange (relative newbie Ellise Chappell) is a foundling taken in by the Great Zambini to work at Kazam Magical Arts Management, an employment agency for sorcerers in a Britain which has reached the twenty-first century while retaining the presence of magic. The Kingdom of Hereford borders on the Dragonlands, a protected territory shrouded in mystical forcefields where the last dragon, Malcassian, lives in splendid isolation; until a surge in the failing power of magic is accompanied by a prophecy that Malcassian will die, at Sunday lunchtime, to the blade of a Dragonslayer. In seeking to protect the dragon, a fascination of her now-missing mentor, Jennifer learns that she is the Dragonslayer, the last such in a long line established by the greatest wizard in history, and that it might be her role to slay the dragon and thus bring about the end of all magic.

There is something oddly post-apocalyptic about The Last Dragonslayer's
Hereford.

In adapting the novel, much is changed, with the film's version of Hereford more retro-mediaeval than the book's, Kazam a much smaller concern with far less employee tension, and the plot both condensed and much more driven by active designs, both benevolent and malign. The satire of media and consumerism is still there, however, and the whole is carried by an excellent supporting cast and Chappell, who brings a superb depth of emotion to what could easily have been the rather bland role of a 'one sane girl' protagonist.

In visual terms the dragon, voiced by Richard E Grant, is superb, although one suspects that there was some skimping on the sets to afford the effects. King Snodd's palace looks like a small theatre set and much of Hereford looks like signs tacked on to an appropriately retro location. The quarkbeast - described in the book as a mix of roughly 10% labrador with equal parts velociraptor and kitchen blender - is here a dog that shapeshifts occasionally into a cloud of magic and teeth, but is utterly adorable.

Overall, the adaptation is loose, but the production highly watchable. Chappell is definitely a name to watch for, and it does make one wonder if the ill-advised step of trying to adapt the Thursday Next novels(1) may be on the cards again. I hope not, but would be well up for an adaptation of The Song of the Quarkbeast next year.

(1) There are serious problems with even reading the Next novels aloud, let alone trying to convey their world visually.

Sense8 - 'A Christmas Special'

I missed you guys.

Christmas brings many gifts, and one of the most welcome this year was Sense8's Christmas special, disingenuously entitled 'A Christmas Special'. It's apparently been over a year since we wrapped up Season 1, and in the intervening time Jonas' conviction that the segregation of humanity has heightened the species' effectiveness as engines of hate and death has only become more convincing. Let's hope that our beloved cluster can restore a little faith in connectivity.

Capheus is still pretty awesome. I miss the original actor, but apparently he's
not the easiest to work with.

We begin fairly bleak, with Lito outed and rejected by his fans and industry, Kala married to a man she doesn't love, Nomi pursued by government agents and hidden by Nita and a kind of LGBT*Q underground railroad, Sun in solitary confinement, Wolfgang on the edge of an impending gang war and Will and Riley in hiding with Will's mind shrouded from Whispers by the magical shield of heroin(1). And Capheus has turned into a different person! This, I have to say, is shit.

Fortunately, it gets better. The outing prompts Lito to embrace who he is and resolve his circle from a legion of fawning agents to the core of Hernando, Dani and the cluster. Nomi and Nita are surrounded by love, even as they are pursued from place to place. Sun continues to be supported both by the cluster and by her fellow prisoners, who club together to bribe the guards to let her have company. Felix wakes up and pretends he's going straight for a laugh. Okay, Will and Riley are still in hiding and locked in a perpetual stupor, and Kala's marriage seems to be relegated to comic relief, but the rest are doing okay.

The creepiest creeper who ever crept.

The special essentially follows our heroes through a turbulent year, including their first shared birthday celebration and another psychic orgy, which Kala - despite honeymooning in the right time zone - completely misses out on, because heaven forbid that any situation conspire to help her maintain her marriage. Kala's story is weird, because she's committed herself to marrying Rajesh, which is obviously a mistake, and keeps doubling down on it while everyone else is being awesome. Even Will, all smacked up on joints of heroin as he is, is able to sneak a Visit to Whispers and see that he has a family that he mostly tries to hide with 'blockers' (which in Sensate terms are sort of like heroin but without the debilitating side effect of being heroin, and are completely unrelated to the 'sleepers' prescribed to non-conforming telepaths in co-creator Michael J Strazynski's Babylon 5.)

We also have the obligatory fight scene, as a group of 'lawyers' try to assassinate Sun, and the birthday party montage is joined by a musical communion to the tune of 'Hallelujah', which is hella cliche by now, but honestly I can't think of a more apt song for It's a Very Sense8 Christmas than one that has come to be associated with Christmas but is really about sex. Nomi and Nita seek shelter with slightly creepy nerd Bug and help him to find a new family, which is adorable. Lito goes home to his mother with his boyfriend and... whatever Dani is(2), who takes him in without hesitation. Riley takes Will skating, but the happy moment is spoiled by Whispers - apparently he doesn't have much to do on Christmas Day - and then at New Year Wolfgang is almost jobbed by a rival mob faction.

'A Christmas Special' is about 50% recapitulation/reminder of our setup, and 50% awesome Sensate action. Some of the former is okay, although the first half drags a bit. We ended up watching it in two goes because it got late, and I suspect that if we'd left it another ten minutes we'd have got through the second hour going 'just at the end of this bit' every ten minutes. It remains a beautiful, heart-wrenching story of randomly and sincerely connected people and the hard, cruel world that wants them to be less awesome, and I dig that, especially with the current rise of nationalist fuckwittage(3). The special loses Kala, Riley and Capheus a bit, and that's a shame, but I have hope that the new series will bring it back together.

And then it's going to kill someone, of course, and I will be all of the sad, but we'll cross that Bridge of Sighs when we come to it.

(1) I think. Hard drugs identification is hardly my Mastermind specialist subject.
(2) I feel that there ought to be a term, but am not down with the kids.
(3) I try not to bring politics into these reviews, but honestly it's hard not to.

Doctor Who - 'The Return of Doctor Mysterio'

Image (c) Stuart Manning

“I like that. Doctor Mysterio! I'll have that!”

This review will contain some spoilers.

In New York to fix an Angel-related problem with time, the Doctor bumps into a kid named Grant who swallows an all-powerful gem. Years later, they meet again, but Grant has used that power to become masked superhero the Ghost. Along with the doctor's re-embodied companion Nardole (from 'The Husbands of River Song') and investigative reporter and single mom Lucy Fletcher (for whom Grant a) works as a nanny and b) pines,) the Doctor is in town to prevent a conspiracy of body-hijacking alien brains taking control of Earth, because it's Christmas and what says Christmas like an invasion.

The Good

• The Return of Doctor Mysterio has all the strengths of the Moffat era: Snappy writing, fast pacing and humour. Little moments like the Doctor's realisation that Superman and Clark Kent are one and the same were excellent.
• Grant and Lucy are a decent expy for Clark and Lois.
• Nardole's gentle needling of the Doctor's post-River blues is far preferable to another Christmas of the Doctor emoing for Prydon.

The Bad

• Unfortunately, there are a few of the less appealing Moffat traits on show. The romance is superficial and slightly pat, and the plot is stronger on style than on substance all through, despite a multiplicity of ideas in play. I'm increasingly of the opinion that Moffat has good ideas and writes good lines, but needs someone to support the middle section of his process.

The Ugly

• Nothing to report here, with even a worrying veer towards upholding the Nice Guy principle largely averted. It does hold a little too close to the classic tropes for comfort, but it's not too squicky.

Theorising

It's been a year since the last stand-alone, so there's not much to theorise on with this one. We do now have confirmation that we're getting a new companion who is a twenty-something cisgendered contemporary Earth woman, so that's new. Wait. No. The other thing. I guess we do seem to be keeping Nardole around, so there's that.

Top Quotes

• "Well, in terms that you would understand... Sorry, there aren't any. It's a...it's a...it's a...it's a time-distortion equaliser thingy."
• "Who are you?"
  "Lucy Fletcher, reporter, from the Daily Chronicle. Hang on, why am I telling you the truth?"
  "Spooky, isn't it?"
• "Look, I'm me, the Doctor, and even I think this is insane."
• "Mrs Lombard, there are some situations which are just too stupid to be allowed to continue."

The Verdict

The Return of Doctor Mysterio is a perfectly enjoyable Christmas special. It benefits from the lack of a preceding season in that fans are eager to get their fix, but suffers from a lack of immediate context. It's fun, and it's... pretty good, but not more than that.

Score - 6/10

Sherlock - The Abominable Bride

"What if we set an episode of our modern setting of a famous Victorian series
in the Victorian era?"

In the foggy streets of Victorian England, a woman commits a very public suicide and then shoots her husband dead. This is a job for the Baker Street detective and his stalwart assistant, but what does it have to do with women's suffrage, John Watson's marriage or the suicide of criminal genius Jim Moriarty in 2012?

'The Abominable Bride' is a massively high concept episode of the BBCs question to which Elementary is the US answer. Now, Sherlock is a series which has suffered from being 'the other project' for practically everyone involved, taking second fiddle to Stephen Moffat's run on Doctor Who, Mark Gatiss being the rogue genius of our age, Benedict Cumberbatch becoming an international sex god and Martin Freeman being down and out in Minnesota and Middle Earth. In this respect 'The Abominable Bride' scores highly over the regular episodes simply because everyone involved seems to be 100% on board for a one off instead of the decidedly more mixed quality of the series episodes.

And I do think this one works. It's a weirdly meta approach with a couple of neat if not unpredictable twists, and leans hard on the strength of the relationship between John and Sherlock, which for reasons can be allowed to be more equal here than in the regular series. The plot is a little more explicitly gruesome than an authentic Holmes story, but not significantly more baroque and decidedly more sympatico with the canon than that Silk Stocking bullshit with Rupert Everett they did a few years back (although that was written by someone who clearly hated Holmes as a character on every conceivable level.)

'The Abominable Bride' was a good outing for an inconsistent show, which is a lot better than a disappointing instance of an otherwise consistently good one.

Doctor Who - 'The Husbands of River Song'

Poster (c) Stuart Manning

“I'm going to need a bigger flowchart.”

This review will contain some spoilers.

It's Christmas in the Stars, and the Doctor has a bigger problem than what to get for a comb-owning wookie. The worst criminal in the universe is intent on getting a head by stealing the TARDIS, and she's roped in a reluctant partner: The Doctor.

The Good

• 'The Husbands of River Song' has a cracking script and hangs on the banter between Capaldi's Doctor and River Song, which sparkles.
• The pacing is superb, and while there are elements where, as usual, the Doctor is shown up by River, the fact that he has the advantage of her makes for a nice reversal.
• The Doctor's reaction to the TARDIS interior is delightful.
• The arrangements for the final dinner were a lovely use of time travel conceits, even if it kind of felt like the Doctor was fast forwarding to River's death.

The Bad

• The near-total lack of sympathy for Ramone and Nardole is... Well, okay; it's par for the course with minor Who characters, but I still have a problem with it.
• Why would you ever have a cyborg body programmed to consider your organic components to be disposable? Who built this thing?
• And what the fuck is up with future space liners being sumptuous recreations of the Earth's golden age of luxury travel? Does no-one else in all the universe have ideas anymore?

The Ugly

• What the hell is up with River Song? I mean... she's basically evil, it would seem. She has a standing reservation at the genocide hotel and honestly it's never clear what her real intention with the diamond was (I'm assuming she knew that her 'buyers' were an evil death cult, so was it a death trap?) but Daleks are scared of her. She's a shameless karma Houdini and we're supposed to be all right with it because... the Doctor loves her? Because she loves the Doctor? Because she only kills bad people by the million? I am not okay with this. Not in Doctor Who.

Theorising

I'm assuming that the Doctor knew River was almost at her final destination, hence his desire to be sure that their last date could happen, rather than just wanting it over with.

Top Quotes

• "So that's why we didn't share a bathroom!"
  And the 'nights of pleasure' he mentioned? Was that just anticipatory in some sense?
• "Hello Sweetie."
• "I'm an archaeologist from the future. I dug you up."
• “Every night is the last night for something. Every Christmas is last Christmas.”

The Verdict

I still have a real problem with River Song, in particular that she just isn't a very good person, but we're apparently supposed to accept that because love. Mind you, we keep being told that the Doctor is an arsehole as well, so I guess in that sense they're very suited. Increasingly this series seems to want me to cry hooray for selfish people just because they have a certain panache and joie de vivre.

That aside, I did enjoy 'The Husbands of River Song' and even got a little teary for the end of an era, for the Doctor's sake if nothing else. I also liked that, as much as it's been spun out and despite that twenty-four year night, the show is finally giving us some sort of ending in which the Doctor is willing to let go.I really hope this is a point of character growth, rather than an aberration; I would hate to see the next companion's departure trigger another strop against the universe.

Score - 7/10

The Librarians... and Santa's Midnight Ride

One of these men is not what he appears to be.

At Christmas, a gunman attacks a soup kitchen in London and is talked down by a jolly man in a distinctive hat (guest star Bruce Campbell.) But it's a trap, and soon the Serpent Brotherhood have drugged and kidnapped Santa, a living battery of the magical energy of human goodwill, and plan to sacrifice him as Christmas Eve becomes Christmas Day. The Librarians have a matter of hours in which to rescue Santa and save Christmas!

Jenkins: "That’s why everyone’s always cranky around the holidays- because we’re running out of good will."

The Librarians' Christmas special is a romp, with Campbell hamming it up as the mercurial and timeless spirit in his many guises (drugged and bereft of his anchoring totem, he cycles through his past 'aspects', from the impish Nicholas the Toymaker to freaking Odin.) Throughout, he refers to himself in the third person, and impressively this stops short of being completely annoying.

"Somebody jacked Santa's ride."

In terms of the regulars, Lindy Booth plays Cassandra's delight in learning that Santa (whom her parents 'outed' to her as fictional at age three) is real with infectious enthusiasm, while Rebecca Romijn gets some big character moments as Santa presses Baird to deal with her hatred of the holiday season. Christian Kane's Stone gets some nice byplay with Matt Frewer's Dulaque as he and Baird threaten the Serpent Brotherhood's art collection to keep their enemies at bay, but it's John Kim's Ezekiel Jones who gets to shine, wearing Santa's hat as a decoy and, as a result, becoming the embodiment of goodwill and generosity against his thieving tendencies.

The Librarians and Santa's Midnight Ride is a joy; not for all tastes, perhaps, but for me it manages the delicate balance of sweetness and savour that makes a Christmas episode more than just a disposable treat.

Also, it has Bruce Campbell in it.

Doctor Who: Last Christmas

Still loving the posters

"There's a horror movie named Alien? That's really offensive. No wonder everybody keeps invading you."

It's Christmas! And what does Christmas mean? That's right; a Doctor Who special.

Following on from the Doctor's encounter with an unexpected Santa Claus at the end of 'Death in Heaven', the Fat Man puts in an appearance on Clara's roof, presaging the Doctor's arrival to whisk her off to an adventure in a research station at the North Pole. It's the usual lighthearted stuff - terrifying psychic parasites which home in on your thoughts when you perceive or think about them and possess the body of their host like a cordyseps fungus or Half-Life headcrab - but with the trust between the Doctor and Clara has been broken by lies. With reality in question, belief is everything, so a lack of trust could prove fatal, and the most vital question in a situation fraught with uncertainty might just be 'do you believe in Father Christmas'?

The Good

• Nick Frost as Santa, from beginning to end, refusing to wink at the camera even when he's winking at the camera. 
• The emergent dream logic of the situation is present brilliantly, and hinted just enough for the audience to stay a step ahead if they're trying. 
• The pathos of the penultimate scene is breathtaking in a series that had been showing signs of going distinctly stale, helped by the production's absolute silence on the future of Clara. 
• Danny Pink's dream self manifesting his protective nature by essentially breaking character to save her from her own mind. 
• The fact that Clara is given agency without taking it away from the Doctor. 
• The tangerine running gag, used sparingly and effectively.

This is basically the definition of a Hail Mary.

The Bad

• The problem with undercutting a well-played tragic denouement is that it interrupts the catharsis, and is never quite as satisfying as the real thing, even if it is more feelgood.

The Ugly

• There is no outstanding ugly in this one.

Top Quotes

• Various: It's a long story.
• Shona: I will mark you, Santa!
• Shona: I’m scared.
  Doctor: Congratulations. That means you’re not an idiot.
• The Doctor: There are some things we should never be okay about.
• The Doctor: You know what the big problem is in telling fantasy and reality apart?
  Ashley: What?
  The Doctor: They're both ridiculous.
• The Doctor: Clara, could you fetch me the dead one?
  Clara: Maybe I could fetch you a cup of tea while I'm at it.
  The Doctor: Oooh. Yes and a punch in the face, too.
  Clara: My very next suggestion.
  The Doctor: Fair enough.
• Danny: Do you know why people get together at Christmas? Because every time they do, it might be the last time. Every Christmas is last Christmas, and this is ours.
• Santa: I can commit several million housebreaks in one night, dressed in a red suit with jingle bells. So, of course I can get back into the infirmary.
• The Doctor: These are Christmas hats. I've seen people use them. You put them on and absolutely everything seems funny.
• Shona: You’re a dream who’s trying to save us?
  Santa: Shona, sweetheart, I’m Santa Claus. I think you just defined me!
• Santa: You are deep inside this dream, all right, and it is a shared mental state, so it is drawing power from the multi-consciousness gestalt which has now formed telepathically …
  Doctor: No, no. No, no, no. Line in the sand. Santa Clause does not do the scientific explanation!
  Santa: All right. As the Doctor might say, “Aw, it’s all a bit dreamy-weamy!”
• The Doctor: Do you know what I hate about the obvious?
  Clara: What?
  The Doctor: Missing it!

The Verdict

There is a long-standing tradition that at the end of each series of Doctor Who, the production team hash out a slightly disappointing special with a tooth-achingly sweet Christmas theme, full of effects and spectacle and signifying nothing. Perhaps it is apt then that the ugly, struggling first series featuring the Twelfth Doctor should be one of the best Christmas specials they've ever done. Oh help me, I like the Twelfth Doctor. Hell, I like Clara. I like their interaction. It feels as if they've finally got it and decided what they're doing with them. The Doctor is a more rounded and accessible character, and the magical balance that they hit so rarely in the series is note perfect.

The first half of Last Christmas is full of flaws and sloppy writing, pretty much all of which turns out in the second half to be the result of dream logic and entirely deliberate. It's a proper Doctor Who episode that happens to be disguised as a whimsical holiday adventure with Nick Frost as Santa Claus, and yet it manages a more genuine Christmassy warmth and good cheer than most. I was looking forward to Clara going at the end of this, but by the time it got there I had a genuine lump in my throat. Why couldn't they have managed that level of investment in the Clara/Danny relationship with an entire series to work with?

Score - 9/10