So, with my review of 2015 done, what am I looking forward to in 2016?
January
I'm really not sure about January. I want to see Star Wars again, and there are a few biggish pictures coming. The Revenant, by Birdman creator Alejandro G. Iñárritu, might be interesting, or just unpleasant. Most likely it will be both, and neither this nor The Hateful Eight is likely to draw me to the cinema unless I'm at a serious loose end. In the Heart of the Sea does not grab me much more, but is also a possibility. Pale as it is then, my primary draw for the month is likely to be The 5th Wave, despite casting a blonde as the one explicitly Asian character in the book and the book not being great.
February
Things start to look up again next month, starting* with the Cohen Brothers Hail Caesar. I'm not sure what it's about, but I usually like their work and it's a mysterious mystery set in the 1950s Hollywood of the great epic.
Almost exactly similar except in terms of tone, narrative, setting, casting, style and genre is Deadpool, perhaps the most daring non-Marvel Studios Marvel movie of them all. With massive cult appeal but not much chance of selling to the wider audience (even with X-Men cameos,) I reckon this will be one to see in opening week.
Another rapid reversal of direction with Dad's Army, which is as cosy and broadly appealing as Deadpool is controversial and cultish. With potential as an overseas hit on pure Britishness, it has a more or less guaranteed domestic market due to the massive affection for the source material and the stellar cast of aging lovies.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is another of those cult adaptations, although the title is perhaps enough to snag an audience on a quiet weekend. My expectations are low, but that's never stopped me. The same is true of Gods of Egypt, the latest in a long line of films that can't seem to grasp that films set outside Europe maybe want to cast the occasional actor who isn't entirely white. I find it harder to mind with this one, since its links to actual Egyptian mythology - let alone history - seem so goddamn tenuous.
Goosebumps is a minor curiosity; I might check it out if I have the time.
March
March brings us the first really heavy hitter of the year with Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice. A sequel to Man of Steel, it seems to have inherited the earlier film's core flaws - poor colour saturation and a flagrant inability to 'get' Superman - and added to them an equally fundamental misunderstanding of Batman, who is depicted in the Trinity hero shot holding what appears to be a gun. Jumping straight to the sword and shield instead of lasso and bracers for Wonder Woman isn't a great sign either.
I am looking forward to Kung Fu Panda 3 far more, despite the risk that it will suck.
April
A month(ish) behind the competition, the MCU kicks off Phase 3 with Captain America: Civil War, a film that is already dividing fans thanks to some publicity that is either colossally dense or frankly brilliant. Being a rabid optimist, I'm hoping for a complex exploration of superhero morality rather than just 'Cap good, Iron Man bad.' I also desperately want Black Panther not to suck.
April's biggest draw, however, is the new, live-action version of The Jungle Book, which my daughter is very keen to see. It will probably terrify her, but I'll never hear the end of it if she finds out I didn't take her to see it.
And then there is The Huntsman: Winter's War, a prequel or sequel or... bookendquel to Snow White and the Huntsman which explores the Huntsman's past training with Ravenna's sister's celibate, co-ed guard and his fight against the Ice Queen and the resurrected Ravenna alongside the wife who was dead by the start of the first film or I know not what the fuck. It won't have Kristen Stewart making a rousing speech, so that's something, and all the main actors are good (not that that stopped Theron swallowing scenery in the first one.)
May
Are we bored with superhero event movies yet? I hope not, because here comes X-Men: Apocalypse, with ubiquitous human chameleon du jour Oscar Isaacs even more unrecognisable than usual as the big blue badass and more X-Men than one could shake a stick at.
I mentioned in my review of 2016 that we were waiting for this year for some more John le Carre style spy shenanigans, and that comes in Our Kind of Traitor, although it's actually more of a conspiracy thriller. Almost uniquely on this list, it's a largely original work (barring the book.)
Far from original, Alice Through the Looking Glass is a sequel to Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, rather than an actual adaptation of the book of the same name, and is likely to be a similarly weird psychadelic mishmash as the last one. Fuck it; it could be fun.
June
Warcraft (possibly Warcraft: The Beginning) is a movie based to some degree on the mighty World of Warcraft franchise, with human/orc conflict and diplomacy and maybe some elves. If I knew WoW better I might have more idea, but I'm actually looking forward to being on the outside of the nerdrage judging an adaptation largely on its merits for once.
Bizarrely released in June (perhaps this time the Independence Day referenced is that of Mozambique?) Independence Day: Resurgence is the sequel to the defining 1996 mega-blockbuster, although sadly it is unlikely to have a Radio 1 tie in, and certainly not one in which the late Patrick Moore punches an alien in the face. "They're back... and this time they've updated Norton antivirus."
Now You See Me 2 has already let me down by not using the title Now You Don't (not even Now You See Me: Now you Don't, just the second part; that would have been cool,) but I enjoyed the first one and am interested to see where they take it. Was 'real magic' just a cooler way of saying 'crimes'? Probably, but so it goes, I guess.
July
Opening July's extra-long release list is the already ludicrously controversial Ghostbusters reboot. I'm on record as saying that I don't care if some or, as it is, all the leads are female, I just think it ought to be a sequel covering new ground, but I'm willing to give it a look. I'm also concerned that two of the leads are sketch comedians and not actors. Still, it's not like Ghostbusters 2 is all that high of a bar to clear.
The BFG is another one I'd like to see with Arya, although there might be some fear. I'm a lifelong fan of Roald Dahl, and I mean to start Arya on the books soon, so this seems a promising option.
Star Trek Beyond on the other hand seems to promise so little beside mindless escapism and a radical departure from the thematic and tonal standards of the last two films. On the up side, mindless escapism!
The fundamental promise of Untitled Bourne Sequel (I'm rooting for 'Bourne Again') seems to be to never mention The Bourne Legacy again and to just let Jez Renner get on with being Hawkeye. All I want to know is, will Matt Damon get to shoot two guns at once while falling through the air?
And coming back to the topic of mindless escapism, Guy Richie's Knights of the Round Table: King Arthur offers little more, but I'm a sucker for all things even vaguely Arthurian (and I fancy this will make Merlin look like a faithful adaptation of La Mort d'Arthur.)
Finding Dory is an odd concept. It's been a long time since Finding Nemo and it wasn't a film that cried out for a sequel. Pixar actually have aq lot of sequels coming up, and I hope that's not a bad sign. While The Good Dinosaur was a marked decline from Inside Out, their films are typically good and I'd hate to think they were in a creative slump. On the other hand, they may just plan sequels further ahead.
August
The bleak palette and nihilistic tone established for the DCEU by Zack Snyder finally find their match in David Ayer's Suicide Squad. 'Task Force X' belong in that kind of gritty, morally grey world in a way that the Trinity just don't, so I'm more positive about this one than Dawn of Justice.
And then they're remaking Pete's Dragon. This is a pretty left-field decision, although the original is certainly pretty dated. This could go very much either way, and I don't know if I'm more worried about Arya being upset by the content or Hanna being upset if they fuck it up.
Because the Autumn is the season of mists and mellow remakes, we also have Ben Hur, with an astonishingly authentic cast compared to the likes of Exodus or Gods of Egypt: the lead is like, 1/16th Jewish through a partially male line and the sister is actually Jewish. Okay, so the (also Jewish) love interest is played by an Iranian-British ex-Scientologist, but what cast is flawless?
September
Imperium is, sadly, not a Roman epic, but a film about domestic terrorism with Daniel Radcliffe.
Still, we can be pretty sure what we're going to get with The Magnificent Seven, yet another remake, with Denzel in the role formerly played by Yul Brynner.
October
Phase 3 continues with Doctor Strange, featuring Benedict Cumberbatch as the embryonic sorcerer supreme. I confess, as far as this character goes, I mostly know that a) he's a wizard and b) he couldn't save Aunt May and is thus partly responsible for One More Day and all the shit that that entails.
On the plus side, he isn't Gambit, although mostly what I have against Gambit is that my ex really liked him for all the wrong reasons. That and I kind of shipped Rogue and Wolverine based on her early post-face turn appearances then missed all the stuff that transitioned into Rogue/Gambit so fuck that guy except not actually. Anyway, I guess they're not holding over Taylor Kitsch from Origins, because who gives poor Taylor Kitsch work anymore**, so who are they...? Channing Tatum? I mean... I don't hate him, but... I guess I always thought of Gambit as the slighter build of gentleman.
November
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them brings us 1920s wizarding New York, and probably a story. I don't entirely care.
December
Michael Fassbender headlines the Assassin's Creed adaptation in the run up to Christmas. I expect to see a faithful adaptation in which just keeping your head down and shuffling makes it impossible to distinguish a white-robed Assassin from a group of Roman Catholic Cardinals.
And then there's Rogue One, 2016's stand in Star Wars entry, which looks like Star Wars does 'Legend of the Rangers.'
I'm sure more will come up, but that's my list. What are you all looking forward to?
* In terms of discussion; I make no claims of chronological listing.
** Note to self; must finish season 2 of True Detective some time.
January
I'm really not sure about January. I want to see Star Wars again, and there are a few biggish pictures coming. The Revenant, by Birdman creator Alejandro G. Iñárritu, might be interesting, or just unpleasant. Most likely it will be both, and neither this nor The Hateful Eight is likely to draw me to the cinema unless I'm at a serious loose end. In the Heart of the Sea does not grab me much more, but is also a possibility. Pale as it is then, my primary draw for the month is likely to be The 5th Wave, despite casting a blonde as the one explicitly Asian character in the book and the book not being great.
February
Things start to look up again next month, starting* with the Cohen Brothers Hail Caesar. I'm not sure what it's about, but I usually like their work and it's a mysterious mystery set in the 1950s Hollywood of the great epic.
Almost exactly similar except in terms of tone, narrative, setting, casting, style and genre is Deadpool, perhaps the most daring non-Marvel Studios Marvel movie of them all. With massive cult appeal but not much chance of selling to the wider audience (even with X-Men cameos,) I reckon this will be one to see in opening week.
Another rapid reversal of direction with Dad's Army, which is as cosy and broadly appealing as Deadpool is controversial and cultish. With potential as an overseas hit on pure Britishness, it has a more or less guaranteed domestic market due to the massive affection for the source material and the stellar cast of aging lovies.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is another of those cult adaptations, although the title is perhaps enough to snag an audience on a quiet weekend. My expectations are low, but that's never stopped me. The same is true of Gods of Egypt, the latest in a long line of films that can't seem to grasp that films set outside Europe maybe want to cast the occasional actor who isn't entirely white. I find it harder to mind with this one, since its links to actual Egyptian mythology - let alone history - seem so goddamn tenuous.
Goosebumps is a minor curiosity; I might check it out if I have the time.
March
March brings us the first really heavy hitter of the year with Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice. A sequel to Man of Steel, it seems to have inherited the earlier film's core flaws - poor colour saturation and a flagrant inability to 'get' Superman - and added to them an equally fundamental misunderstanding of Batman, who is depicted in the Trinity hero shot holding what appears to be a gun. Jumping straight to the sword and shield instead of lasso and bracers for Wonder Woman isn't a great sign either.
I am looking forward to Kung Fu Panda 3 far more, despite the risk that it will suck.
April
A month(ish) behind the competition, the MCU kicks off Phase 3 with Captain America: Civil War, a film that is already dividing fans thanks to some publicity that is either colossally dense or frankly brilliant. Being a rabid optimist, I'm hoping for a complex exploration of superhero morality rather than just 'Cap good, Iron Man bad.' I also desperately want Black Panther not to suck.
April's biggest draw, however, is the new, live-action version of The Jungle Book, which my daughter is very keen to see. It will probably terrify her, but I'll never hear the end of it if she finds out I didn't take her to see it.
And then there is The Huntsman: Winter's War, a prequel or sequel or... bookendquel to Snow White and the Huntsman which explores the Huntsman's past training with Ravenna's sister's celibate, co-ed guard and his fight against the Ice Queen and the resurrected Ravenna alongside the wife who was dead by the start of the first film or I know not what the fuck. It won't have Kristen Stewart making a rousing speech, so that's something, and all the main actors are good (not that that stopped Theron swallowing scenery in the first one.)
May
Are we bored with superhero event movies yet? I hope not, because here comes X-Men: Apocalypse, with ubiquitous human chameleon du jour Oscar Isaacs even more unrecognisable than usual as the big blue badass and more X-Men than one could shake a stick at.
I mentioned in my review of 2016 that we were waiting for this year for some more John le Carre style spy shenanigans, and that comes in Our Kind of Traitor, although it's actually more of a conspiracy thriller. Almost uniquely on this list, it's a largely original work (barring the book.)
Far from original, Alice Through the Looking Glass is a sequel to Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, rather than an actual adaptation of the book of the same name, and is likely to be a similarly weird psychadelic mishmash as the last one. Fuck it; it could be fun.
June
Warcraft (possibly Warcraft: The Beginning) is a movie based to some degree on the mighty World of Warcraft franchise, with human/orc conflict and diplomacy and maybe some elves. If I knew WoW better I might have more idea, but I'm actually looking forward to being on the outside of the nerdrage judging an adaptation largely on its merits for once.
Bizarrely released in June (perhaps this time the Independence Day referenced is that of Mozambique?) Independence Day: Resurgence is the sequel to the defining 1996 mega-blockbuster, although sadly it is unlikely to have a Radio 1 tie in, and certainly not one in which the late Patrick Moore punches an alien in the face. "They're back... and this time they've updated Norton antivirus."
Now You See Me 2 has already let me down by not using the title Now You Don't (not even Now You See Me: Now you Don't, just the second part; that would have been cool,) but I enjoyed the first one and am interested to see where they take it. Was 'real magic' just a cooler way of saying 'crimes'? Probably, but so it goes, I guess.
July
Opening July's extra-long release list is the already ludicrously controversial Ghostbusters reboot. I'm on record as saying that I don't care if some or, as it is, all the leads are female, I just think it ought to be a sequel covering new ground, but I'm willing to give it a look. I'm also concerned that two of the leads are sketch comedians and not actors. Still, it's not like Ghostbusters 2 is all that high of a bar to clear.
The BFG is another one I'd like to see with Arya, although there might be some fear. I'm a lifelong fan of Roald Dahl, and I mean to start Arya on the books soon, so this seems a promising option.
Star Trek Beyond on the other hand seems to promise so little beside mindless escapism and a radical departure from the thematic and tonal standards of the last two films. On the up side, mindless escapism!
The fundamental promise of Untitled Bourne Sequel (I'm rooting for 'Bourne Again') seems to be to never mention The Bourne Legacy again and to just let Jez Renner get on with being Hawkeye. All I want to know is, will Matt Damon get to shoot two guns at once while falling through the air?
And coming back to the topic of mindless escapism, Guy Richie's Knights of the Round Table: King Arthur offers little more, but I'm a sucker for all things even vaguely Arthurian (and I fancy this will make Merlin look like a faithful adaptation of La Mort d'Arthur.)
Finding Dory is an odd concept. It's been a long time since Finding Nemo and it wasn't a film that cried out for a sequel. Pixar actually have aq lot of sequels coming up, and I hope that's not a bad sign. While The Good Dinosaur was a marked decline from Inside Out, their films are typically good and I'd hate to think they were in a creative slump. On the other hand, they may just plan sequels further ahead.
August
The bleak palette and nihilistic tone established for the DCEU by Zack Snyder finally find their match in David Ayer's Suicide Squad. 'Task Force X' belong in that kind of gritty, morally grey world in a way that the Trinity just don't, so I'm more positive about this one than Dawn of Justice.
And then they're remaking Pete's Dragon. This is a pretty left-field decision, although the original is certainly pretty dated. This could go very much either way, and I don't know if I'm more worried about Arya being upset by the content or Hanna being upset if they fuck it up.
Because the Autumn is the season of mists and mellow remakes, we also have Ben Hur, with an astonishingly authentic cast compared to the likes of Exodus or Gods of Egypt: the lead is like, 1/16th Jewish through a partially male line and the sister is actually Jewish. Okay, so the (also Jewish) love interest is played by an Iranian-British ex-Scientologist, but what cast is flawless?
September
Imperium is, sadly, not a Roman epic, but a film about domestic terrorism with Daniel Radcliffe.
Still, we can be pretty sure what we're going to get with The Magnificent Seven, yet another remake, with Denzel in the role formerly played by Yul Brynner.
October
Phase 3 continues with Doctor Strange, featuring Benedict Cumberbatch as the embryonic sorcerer supreme. I confess, as far as this character goes, I mostly know that a) he's a wizard and b) he couldn't save Aunt May and is thus partly responsible for One More Day and all the shit that that entails.
On the plus side, he isn't Gambit, although mostly what I have against Gambit is that my ex really liked him for all the wrong reasons. That and I kind of shipped Rogue and Wolverine based on her early post-face turn appearances then missed all the stuff that transitioned into Rogue/Gambit so fuck that guy except not actually. Anyway, I guess they're not holding over Taylor Kitsch from Origins, because who gives poor Taylor Kitsch work anymore**, so who are they...? Channing Tatum? I mean... I don't hate him, but... I guess I always thought of Gambit as the slighter build of gentleman.
November
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them brings us 1920s wizarding New York, and probably a story. I don't entirely care.
December
Michael Fassbender headlines the Assassin's Creed adaptation in the run up to Christmas. I expect to see a faithful adaptation in which just keeping your head down and shuffling makes it impossible to distinguish a white-robed Assassin from a group of Roman Catholic Cardinals.
And then there's Rogue One, 2016's stand in Star Wars entry, which looks like Star Wars does 'Legend of the Rangers.'
I'm sure more will come up, but that's my list. What are you all looking forward to?
* In terms of discussion; I make no claims of chronological listing.
** Note to self; must finish season 2 of True Detective some time.
No comments:
Post a Comment