Doctor Who - 'Smile'

Poster, as always, (c) Stuart Manning

“You don’t “steer” the TARDIS! You *negotiate* with her! The still point between where you want to go and where you need to be. That’s where she takes you.”

This review will contain some spoilers.

Despite Nardole's reminder that he swore an oath to protect the vault, the Doctor decides to abuse his time travel privileges – technically if he gets back at the same time he left, he hasn't really left Earth, right? – and show Bill the future, which is a Quatermass-by-X-Files sort of place, all gleaming towers and wheat fields, and unfortunately little, helpful robots who communicate via emoji and eliminate anyone who isn't happy. Discovering that this post-exodus colony is about to experience a catastrophic interface of cryogenic revival, dead relatives and mandatory happiness, the Doctor sets out to ensure the race does not succumb en masse to a terminal grump.

The Good

Bill is still great. I love her enthusiasm, and her desire to ask questions, her resistance to the Doctor's – admittedly understandable – overprotectiveness, but also her utterly human reaction to the horror and wonder of the evolving situation.

The idea of having to be happy on pain of death is creepy AF, as any Paranoia player will tell you.

The idea of a city made of tiny robots that can detach in groups to do things is amazing, and coupled with the hostile turn, also creepy AF.

Although the conclusion is a little pat, I like that the humans are resistant to recognising the robots, and that the Doctor has to butt heads with their desire to destroy those whom they see as attacking their friends and family. It's an entirely understandable and human response to want to confront a threat, however hopeless the odds, rather than admitting and dealing with one's own tragic errors.

The Bad

The plot is a little bit 'Blink' meets 'The Happiness Patrol', but without the soon-to-be ruined iconic new aliens or Bertie Basset's psychopathic brother.

The tiny robots are called Varda, which is presumably a contraction of 'totally not the VAshta nerADA, guv,' since those are an entirely different cloud of flesh-devouring creatures.

Nardole gets left behind, and clearly won't be in next week's episode either. I'm hoping that he'll be back on board after that, because I was very much looking forward to a three-hander.

The Ugly

I guess it's needed for the plot, but how badly do you have to screw up the coding job for your emoji-bots to see 'flense and compost' as the go to solution to feeling a little down in the dumps? Even the most basic programme design would surely have 'cup of tea and a hug' as a preliminary step before giving someone up as a bad job and reducing them to bonemeal. This is what you get for hiring the lowest bidder.

Theorising

Not much to go on yet. There was a promise, there's a vault. The promise was made a long time ago, but he's still only claiming about two thousand years, so it can't have been too much time subjectively since Trenzalore.

Next week is Bill's first pseudohistorical. It's monsters at a Thames Frost Fair, so I guess its first challenge is to match up to Big Finish's Frostfire.

Top Quotes

Bill: Where are you going?

The Doctor: No idea. But if I look purposeful, they’ll think I’ve got a plan. If they think I’ve got a plan, at least they won’t try to think of a plan themselves!

Once, long ago, a fisherman caught a magic haddock. The haddock offered him three wishes in return for its life. The fisherman said, “I’d like for my son to come home from the war. And a hundred pieces of gold.” The problem is, the magic haddock, like robots, don’t think like people. The fisherman’s son came home from the war, in a coffin. And the king sent a hundred gold pieces in recognition of his heroic death. The fisherman had one wish left. What do you think he wished for? Some people say he should have wished for an infinite series of wishes, but if your city proves anything, it is that granting all your wishes is not a good idea. [...] In fact, the fisherman wished he hadn’t wished the first two wishes. – The Doctor

The Verdict

'Smile' is a solid 'first trip' episode, somewhat reminiscent of the New New York episodes of the second and third seasons of nuWho despite the rural setting, with elements of classic stories such as 'The Ark in Space' or 'The Robots of Death'. The Doctor is great and his companion fresh, but unfortunately the story as a whole lacks real originality. If proof were needed that a fresh hand is needed at the helm, it's the degree to which 'Smile' can be identified as the sum of its parts.

Score - 6/10