The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

The background was so metal that
Gandalf was surprised no-one had photoshopped
a guitar into the image yet

After a year's wait and the game-changing experience of Sylvester McCoy, Peter Jackson and Ian McKellan's turns in The Fivish Doctors, here it is; part 2 of the epic adaptation of the not-really-very-epic novel The Hobbit.

So, first up, you should probably know by now that I am a sucker for Jackson's big mad epic schtick, although not to the point that nothing he does bothers me. The ride to Osgiliath in Return of the King, for example, was a thing of beauty, but basically dumb as rocks, and he has a habit of knocking down the supporting cast and playing keep away with their dignity in order to make the heroes seem more heroic which I don't care for.

Of course, with the Hobbit the real issue is the inclusion of all the extra material relating to Dol Goldur, most of which just appears in the appendices of The Lord of the Rings, and the general Lording up of the Hobbit, which is a much lighter and simpler tome. Honestly, I don't have a big problem with either of these; the problems I do have will be discussed in the spoilery section lower down.

In general, I had a good time with this one. There was some nice action and some good drama. Also, Smaug is fucking badass. As has happened before, however, I find that the devil is in the details, which is to say that while the broad strokes pleased me, the close brushwork gave me more trouble.

So; spoilers.

Reviewer Lindsey Ellis identified two key problems with the Lord of the Rings film trilogy: Too many battles, and the 'forced Peej conflict'. The latter refers to Peter Jackson's tendency to add extra character conflicts, in the hope that more misery will make the characters more interesting and likable.

In terms of too many battles, here we have an extended spider fight, an orc raid on the wood elfs and a running battle on the river following that, a fight in the mountain between the dwarfs and Smaug, as well as a flashback to Smaug's first attack on Esgaroth, and another orc fight in Laketown. Then we have the forced Peej conflicts, which come thick and fast. Thranduil - in the books just a stubborn king - follows (or rather, precedes) Elrond into the willfully blind to the need to interact with the world club, while at the same time being pissy about his kid's romantic aspirations, just like Elrond. Clearly, someone has a case of hero worship. The film also throws us Legolas - not in this book - and Tauriel - not in any book, partly for some bad ass elfing, but also apparently for him to moon over her while she has a doomed romance with Kili the dwarf.

I don't think the film really needed any of these.

A couple of weird changes: the 'black arrow' being a harpoon fired from a double-armed mounted crossbow, rather than Bard's lucky arrow; and the weakness in Smaug's armour being a result of a past fight rather than chance.

Also, Kili being wounded with a 'Morgul shaft' and healed by Tauriel using kingsfoil was... bizarre. Is there a whole line of fine Morgul products? And is Tauriel really the Queen of Numenor?