Doctor Who - Deep Breath/The Twelfth Doctor

Oh, nonono! You do not get around me with a giant dinosaur and a zeppelin!

I think I'm going to review new episodes of Doctor Who a week behind broadcast. That way, I can be spoilery (because if you've not seen it yet, you probably don't care), and I can dodge the worst of looking like a pill by making predictions which are immediately proven wrong. Also, I failed to write this one at all during the past week, so I may as well make best practice of my failings.

Deep Breath is the debut episode for the Twelfth Doctor (Peter Capaldi), previously glimpsed as a pair of eyes in Day of the Doctor and then at the end of Time of the Doctor. In his first full episode, he kicks off in full-blown manic mode and ends up throwing a machine out of a balloon; or talking it out, perhaps.

We open with a giant dinosaur in the river next to Westminster palace, a sight that will not be seen again until the inaugural World Energy Conference. When I say giant, I mean it's colossal; an almost ludicrously oversized T-Rex, scaled as it is so that it can have tried to swallow the TARDIS, an error which is lampshade and dismissed in-text by Madam Vastra (Neve McIntosh) - a Silurian from the time of the dinosaurs - who just knows better than the fossil record, so nyer. It coughs up said TARDIS and out spill Clara (Jenna Coleman) and the new guy, who is in the midst of an ever so exciting Regeneration crisis.
Later that night the dinosaur asplodes, and the rest of the episode is spent tracking down the perpetrator, a clockwork android from a 51st century spaceship which crashed in the primeval past, which has been harvesting human parts for millions of years to repair its spaceship and make a journey to 'the Promised Land', and incidentally creating an army of zombies.

Behind the main action, Madam Vastra tries to help Clara come to terms with the fact that regeneration is not always what you might expect (she has seen three versions of the Doctor, each younger than the last, but the new one is older), Clara help the Doctor to stay on an even keel and defeat the robot, and Jenny (Katrin Stewart) and Strax (Dan Starkey) be... kind of endearing. The arc plot of the series comes in when the 'dead' clockwork is taken to 'Heaven', an over-exposed English garden type of deal overseen by Missie, a weirdly made-up woman (Michelle Gomez) who calls the Doctor 'my boyfriend'.

The Good

1. The interplay between Vastra and Jenny, and between Strax and Clara, is as delightful as ever.
2. Capaldi is a great actor and there was some sparkling dialogue ('What's gone wrong with your accent?'), although I'm not sure any of that was particularly meaningful.
3. The central idea of the Companion adapting to the change in Doctor is a good one, and highlights what seems like becoming a running theme of the Doctor's reliance on external perception to judge himself. If Ten was about the Doctor's over-estimation of himself and Eleven was about the legend that the universe made of him, it looks like Twelve is going to be about the identity that the Doctor constructs for and with the input of his Companion (Vastra: "He looked young. Who do you think he did that for?") If nothing else, it makes a change from the Companions struggling to be seen by the Doctor.
4. The Doctor and Clara recognising that each considers the other an egomaniacal control freak.

The Bad

1. Clara's difficulties with the Doctor's regeneration are largely spurious. They don't make a lot of sense to the character, and as a result are dealt with primarily by her dismissing them, leaving a huge question as to why she freaked out in the first place.
2. Capaldi spends a little too long running manically around, essentially burning off the last of the Matt Smith incarnation, and not enough establishing himself.
3. Jenny and Strax are wasted.
4. With the 51st century clockwork, Steven Moffat seems to be determined to do as he did with the Weeping Angels and ruin a perfectly good monster by overuse, except starting out from a less interesting monster.

The Ugly

1. As with so many nuWho episodes, Deep Breath is very rushed. It's especially disappointing because The Eleventh Hour was so effective in its introduction not just of a new Doctor, but of a new companion (Amy) and a future companion (Rory). As a result, the good ideas and dialogue are kind of lost in the scramble.
2. The Doctor mind-melds with Vastra and falls asleep with a comic boing. Aside from the fact that a Silurian shouldn't be able to overcome a Time Lord telepathically, or at least not so dismissively, A COMIC BOING? What is this, a 1970s sitcom?
3. Oh, yay! Daleks. Again. And Cybermen ahead I see. Good to see we're not overusing our classic monsters.

Theorising

• Who is Missy? I've seen it suggested that she is the Rani, or a female Master (Mistress). I hope not, because I have had it up to here with villains who want to jump the Doctor rather than kill him. My own theories are the ship's computer of the SS Madame du Pompadour and the TARDIS, neither of which inspires me much.

Top quotes

• The Doctor: It’s covered in lines, but I didn’t do the frowning. Who frowned me this face?
• Clara: Nothing is more important than my egomania!
  The Doctor: Right. You actually said that.
  Clara: You never mention that again!
• The Doctor: I don't know, but I probably blame the English.
• Doctor: Clara, I’m not your boyfriend.
  Clara: I never thought you were.
  Doctor: I never said it was your mistake.

The Verdict

Deep Breath was a pretty so-so episode, which wasted the opportunity to showcase Peter Capaldi's Doctor with giant dinosaurs for sight gags and a plot device recycled from an episode that I for one didn't rate that highly in the first place. I'm also mildly despondent at the thought that in the same episode that the Companion flatly dismisses the notion of romantic attraction to the Doctor, we get a villain who calls him her boyfriend. Call me old fashioned, but I liked my Doctor mysterious, my companions in it for the adventure, and my sexual tension unstated and unresolved.

On his good days, Moffat writes a bloody good episode, but this wasn't a good day. Most of the elements were there, but the mix was unsatisfying, even to a jaded, squealing fanboy like me.

5/10

And the Doctor...

Actually, I'm going to have to get back to you on this one when I review Inside the Dalek next week.

Utopia - Series 2

Yeah... didn't finish it. In the end I made it through two episodes before deciding not to continue.

It's not bad; it's just unpleasant, and not quite good enough to earn its level of unpleasantness. If I was still single, I'd probably have lapped it up, but with my weekends given over to the family and my sensitivity to anything involving violence against children increased even more than it was when I was a teacher, it was just time I could be spending on something I personally found more enjoyable.

Sarah & Duck Redux

Apparently some people consider Sarah & Duck to be 'appalling', on the grounds that it has no educational content (I'm paraphrasing; I was told that the precise complaint was that it doesn't teach children sign language, which is as criteria go is pretty absolutist.)

And I was thinking about this, and I don't even think that it's true. It certainly doesn't teach you sign language. It lacks The Alphablocks strong literacy content, or The Numtums mathematical slant (and, by the by, the newer series of the latter are shockingly bad, with the numeracy bits sandwiched between some uninspired 'story' segments), but there is more to life than literacy, maths and sign language, and as far as role models go, I would rather Arya turned out like Sarah than pretty much anyone else on Cbeebies.

Sarah is thoughtful, considerate, compassionate, intelligent, independent and enquiring. She never mocks the eccentricities of others, is boundlessly patient with Scarf Lady's ramblings, and seeks always to make others happy without becoming some sort of pushover. When faced with a puzzle, she seeks information, using the library and the internet. She unhesitatingly gives up her day to show the Shallots around town, or one of her wellingtons to keep Umbrella's handle dry in the rain, and rather than blaming or avoiding the pump that lets tyres go down, tries to find out what is wrong with him and help.

She's hard working, loves cooking, but always lets the narrator deal with the hot oven. She's active, riding a tandem bike with Duck, and responsible. When her friends are faced with fear or sorrow, she does all she can to cheer them up, and she looks at the world with a pure and rapturous wonder.

So, yeah; Sarah & Duck. It's not just fluff.

Sarah & Duck

Left to right: Sarah, and Duck

Sarah & Duck
Quack
Sarah & Duck
Quack
Sarah & Duck
Quack
<beat>
Sarah & Duck
Quack
- the Sarah & Duck theme song

Falling squarely into the whimsical school of children's entertainment, Sarah & Duck is an animated series telling of the adventures of Sarah and her pet/best pal Duck.

Sarah and Duck live in a quiet, suburban neighbourhood in a house which they apparently share with the Narrator.

Sarah likes sea cows and lemon water, and plays the tuba; Duck likes tractors and bread.

They have many friends, including Scarf Lady and her talking handbag, their opposite numbers Flamingo and John, the four lively shallots who live in the garden, and the Moon.

The episode clip above features a race in knitted hot air balloons. I did want to have the one with what is basically a vampire bicycle pump, but it's not available in the UK. Neither of these is an atypical plot for Sarah & Duck.

Arya seems very taken with Sarah & Duck, and even sings along to the theme tune. I think it's an adorable little show, and I picked up the first DVD the other day.

Utopia - Series 1

It's very yellow, isn't it.

A big hit last year (although I've only caught up with it recently thanks to 4OD making series one available while series 2 is showing, Utopia is a conspiracy thriller which premiered on Channel 4.

The series, which centres on the manuscript for the 'lost' second volume of a fictional graphic novel called Utopia, is notable for its use of stark, brutal violence, including an extremely controversial sequence in which an assassin murders two teachers and (offscreen) half a dozen children in order to frame another child for the killings. It is a far from pleasant series, and as is the nature of such material, the question arises: Is it good enough to earn the use of such shocking content, or is it purely there to shock? In all honesty, I'm not convinced that the level of violence, or the nature of the violence, was entirely necessary. It isn't completely gratuitous, and can't take away from the fact that the story is gripping and compelling, but it sours the experience.

The main narrative is excellent, however, telling the story of a group of enthusiasts who meet through a comics forum centred on Utopia, and are invited to see the manuscript for volume 2. However, the manuscript contains information wanted by an extra-governmental conspiracy called the Network, and the characters are soon on the run from the Network's killers and framed for all manner of appalling crimes.

The central group are IT consultant Ian (Nathan Stewart-Jarrett), medical student and would-be conspiracy theory postgraduate Becky (Alexandra Roach), geek survivalist Wilson Wilson (Adeel Akhtar) and obnoxious-yet-artistic eleven year old Grant (Oliver Woollford). Their main lifeline is Jessica Hyde (Fiona O'Shaughnessy), the author of Utopia's sociopathic daughter, and their enemies include Arby (Neil Maskell), a compassionless yet almost childlike killer who is Jessica's equally dark reflection, and Corvadt Biological Sciences, a corporation run by Letts (Stephen Rea) and his assistant (James Fox).

The latter two are something of an anomaly in the series, being pretty stereotypical villains in smart suits plush offices, while little else follows any such conventional patterning. Jessica Hyde would be the hero of a more conventional series, but O'Shaughnessy's dead-eyed performance turns her into an anti-villain, a cold-blooded survivalist devoid of emotion or attachment, and Maskell's turn as Arby has a weird dissonance between his brutal actions and his soft, placid expression. The actual 'heroes' are typically ineffectual and indecisive, and frequently wrong. Moreover, only one of them is actually entirely what he appears to be.

Utopia series 1 is a starkly brilliant piece of storytelling, which works to remove the glamour which has come to adhere to killers in fiction, but in the end is marred by the violence which is in part its purpose. I will be giving series 2 a shot, but I'm not convinced I'll make it through.

Guardians of the Galaxy

What a bunch of a-holes.

The Guardians of a Galaxy at first glance looks like a bit of a wild card play for Marvel. They're hardly a big name draw, being a little obscure among even most of the nerd community. On the other hand, who ever expected an Iron Man movie to do the sort of business it did? When has a Captain America movie ever done better than tank?

It's still a bit of a gamble, of course. The Guardians have little brand recognition, and they're a completely different kettle of fish to the Avengers. Superheroes may be the flavour of the month, but this is frankly space opera, and space opera is not a traditional big-seller (the big guns of Star Wars and Star Trek aside).

So, what have Marvel produced?

They've produced a fun, pacy sci-fi adventure, rich with humour and not too stingy on the feels either. While the main characters - boyishly charming space-pirate Peter 'Star Lord' Quill, renegade assassin Gamora, escaped experimental subject Rocket, vengeful warrior Drax the Destroyer, and Groot - may not hug, or for the most part share stories, but there are plenty of touching moments, from the reveal of Rocket's scars, to Quill's mix tape (the most robust ferro-magnetic cassette tape ever), and pretty much every 'I am Groot' in the film. Action and humour are meat and drink to the current run of MCU films, of course, and this manages to mesh the two well, and even gets the balance on Quill so that he is flippant, but never glib.

I went into the film knowing, of the five leads, only Rocket, and that from his earliest incarnation as the lovable ranger charged with protecting the Loonies of Halfworld. For all that and the fact that the film blows straight in at full pace, I didn't feel uninformed, or lost at any point. The introductions and establishment of the characters (mostly in the form of a fight) was done seamlessly. The 70s/80s mix tape soundtrack was also used brilliantly.

It's not a perfect film, but it is certainly a very good one.

Bad Movie Round-up

I've added a fair few entries to the Bad Movie Marathon lately, so if you like bad movies you can check that out. As ever, BMM reviews are pretty spoilery.

New additions include Prometheus, a SyFy creature feature called Dragon Wasps, Jack the Giant Slayer and the new Hercules movie, which is actually pretty good but has so many traits of bad movies that I felt it should go up. I also added Dracula: Prince of Darkness, which is actually one of the better Dracula films, but we seemed to be shockingly light on vampire movies.

My fellow reviewers have also been busy. Sally has given us a review of 300, and James has added Nazi Zombie Death Tales.

Finally, I've created a Prometheus drinking game, for those who can't take the pain.