Tuesday 24 May 2016

Bitten - 'Summons'

The Pack, cursed to look sexy and occasionally turn into bad CGI.
Elena is a werewolf, afflicted not with a predictable lunar therianthropic cycle, but with an occasional rising urge to strip off and turn into a walking reminder of how good Game of Thrones' CGI is in the grand scheme of things. She's trying to live a normal life away from other werewolves, because a heroine with magical powers who just wants a normal life is new and different, but is summoned back to the creepy pack estate when a 'mutt' kills a woman on their land as a challenge to their authoritah.

Bitten, based on the novel by Kelley Armstrong, is pretty by the numbers urban fantasy: Superspecialsnowflake heroine who just wants to be a regular girl (or at least a regular superspecialsnowflake,) check (Elena is the only known female werewolf); sexy normal boyfriend, check; sexy, bad news, douchecanoe catnip ex, check; gay bestie, check (if in the 'straight but platonic' format); call back to the magical world, big check. It's full of pretty people and pretty locations, and the occasional incomprehensible coyote attack, but it's the wolves that are the problem. Wolves are pretty key to a werewolf show, and they just look so fake.

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