The Magicians - 'The Writing Room' and 'Homecoming'

"So... this is what Britain looks like."

Road trip!

As a note, I'm pretty sure that the 'previously on' scene of the Beast/Mike murdering Eliza/Jane Chatwin included an image cut from the actual showing of the episode, in which Eliza went the way of Oberyn Martell.

A locator spell points to Penny as the one who stole the final Fillory book, and he admits that, yes, he took it, read it, spilled beer on it and threw it out rather than admit that he'd been interested. His fuzzy recollection was that it was written by Jane Chatwin rather than Christopher Plover, and described her attempt to find a means for her brother Martin to get back into Fillory when 'Ember and Umber' stopped admitting him. Eventually she tracked down a questing beast - possibly a rabbit or pig - who gave her a magic button, and there the book ends.

"So... this is what the British look like."

To learn more, Quentin, Alice and Penny head to England to visit Plover's house, accompanied by the bored and grieving Eliot, who also allows them use of a magic door he and Margot created to visit their favourite pub. The big old house is run as a museum, so they take the tour, and of course Quentin nitpicks at the tour guide throughout the presentation on Plover, the neighbouring Chatwin children, his hyper-protective sister and that totally unsolved mystery about the disappearance of the housekeeper's kids (who were apparently too poor to go to Fillory, even in fiction.)

Since they can't ransack the place for a button during the tour, they break back in at night and find a number of books of real magic in Plover's collection, including several that Penny calls the 101 of Travelling. The tour guide catches them, but Eliot claims to be a supervillain and he starts to tell them something, but is interrupted when the lights go out and he is instantly murdered with his lips sewn shut and OMFG the following ghost story is creepy as shit, as they gang witness not only the Mrs Danversesque sister flat out murdering the housekeeper's children for disturbing her sainted brother, but said sainted brother drugging Jane and molesting Martin, all while excitedly describing the adventures they can have together once he unlocks the magic to travel to Fillory, even if it would require him growing some extra fingers.

They find the button, but are forced to flee, escaping only thanks to their magic, and unable to do anything to give the ghost-children peace, much to Alice's distress.

"Wait; I'm burying the gays? And just as I was getting likable again."

Back in New York, Richard tasks Julia with contacting the mind of Kira, a magician who has suffered some sort of locked in syndrome since a spell went wrong. Specifically, she used the spell she used to torment Quentin to create a safe space to make notes on Kira's now perfected spell, and is then asked to give her peace. She balks at first - after all, introducing a black lesbian character and then offing her right off the bat is a bit weak - but then assents, Richard explaining that this is part of using magic for good.

"Welcome to Limbo. I'll be your bandit."

At Brakebills, Quentin muses on the fact that his literary hero was a child-raping bastard, and his sister a child-murdering monster. Penny touches the button - largely to spite Quentin - and immediately vanishes, bringing 'The Writing Room' to a close.

Penny finds himself climbing out of a fountain onto planet hedge maze in 'Homecoming' and is almost immediately met by a chirpy lass in a hoody who explains that he is in the Neitherlands and then tries to steal his button (which sadly lacks the innuendo potential of all those attempts to bag Wil's Elfstones.) Penny quickly becomes completely lost in the labyrinth of courtyards and fountains, and decides that it's time to make like ET and phone home.

He does this by homing in on the brain he is most accustomed to invading, and I'm not the only one to notice his mutual antagonism with Quentin evolving into near-bromance. This time he pops into Quentin's Indiana Jones/Princess Leia/Danaerys Targaryen sex dream, and we learn that not only is he a complete nerd, but even his fantasies think he's a bit of a loser. It's here that Penny learns that what has been about six minutes for him has been as many weeks on Earth.

"If you would just shut up for two seconds, this sex dream would pass the
Bechdel test."

Alice takes Quentin to meet her parents, not for the usual reasons, but because their mutual boyfriend is an extraplanar traveler named Joe. Joe explains that they can create a beacon to guide Penny back to the Earth Fountain, but they'll need to do some sex magic to achieve it. Cue awkwardness and also some decent exploration of the relationship. Damnit, The Magicians, you were supposed to be my big, dumb fluff show.

Julia has now become an active member of Richard's online magical circle, the Free Trader Beowulf. Hosting a meet up, she discovers that one of the members, Asmodeus, is actually Kady, and the two of them are assigned to 'level up' by mastering a set of spells (given to them in what Richard genuinely calls a 'spell binder'; he's so adorably nerdy that I can't help but think he's going to die or turn out a major heel) while the rest of the group work on fucking with causality in the spare room. Seriously; mystery cults aside, it's fucking rude to break time in someone's house without telling them. Also, they apparently want to control a god, which just feels... dumb.

In the Physical Cabin, Margo is just starting to notice that Eliot is actually pretty damned shook up over not just killing someone, but basically murdering his not-actually-boyfriend-because possession, in order to temporarily inconvenience the thing that was puppeting his body. They are briefly distracted when uncharacteristic faint spells tip them off that Margo's ex has created a replica of her which has been drawing off her life force. Dubbed the Margolem, she confiscates it, but decides to keep it around because having a version of her permanently in 'party' mode is good for Eliot. The Margolem also provides confirmation that Margo and Eliot's inviolable relationship is, however, not sexual.

"No, wait. This is what Britain is like."

Back in the Neitherlands, Penny falls through a trap door into a library, where a librarian calls him 'William', and suggests that he has been there before, but doesn't remember. The library is full of books of people's lives, although she warns him that 'people who read their own books often find that they don't like the main character,' and never mind the ending. This includes the life of Martin Chatwin, who also disappeared, but without a card Penny can't borrow it. Instead, and to avoid harm to her books, the librarian photocopies the pages he would have torn out while she kicked his arse, then punts him back to the fountain maze, from which he exits via the beacon into the bedroom where Alice and Quentin are having sex.

So, yeah... The Magicians is steadily improving as it goes along. I've read the first book now, and the changes in plot, pacing and whatnot are substantial, but I think I'm liking the series better, if I'm honest. I would not have expected to say that six weeks ago.