Doctor Who - 'Eaters of Light'

The Doctor gets off on the wrong foot again.

"Listen, you are all very, very angry. And really, you’re just scared. But for now, would you mind awfully just jumping out of your skins and allowing Nardole and I to escape in the confusion?"

This review will contain spoilers

Bill has, it seems, a bit of a thing for Rosemary Sutcliffe, so the Doctor has brought her to ancient Scotland to establish that the Ninth Legion really was wiped out. What they find is, of course, much more alien-related than anticipated, and the TARDIS crew find themselves defending the underage survivors of the Roman invasion, and the last surviving legionaries, against a creature not of this world.

The Good

Honestly, it's amazing that Doctor Who has never done the Ninth Legion before now; it's prime time travel stuff.

The monsters were neat. A little reminiscent of the moorwen from Outlander (the scifi Beowulf movie, rather than the softcore Scottish time travel melodrama, although to be fair, that would be a hell of a shakeup and we are north of the border,) but not particularly of anything in Doctor Who's past.

The Romans' response to Bill's sexuality (amusement that she restricts herself to either gender) was another good bit of historical assumption challenging, especially coupled with treating the Romans - usually the good guys, as the 'civilised' ones - as the invading force that they were.

I was amused by the talking crows.

I find I like it when humans gazump the Doctor's attempts at martyrdom.

The Bad

Black legionary died first (although in fairness, there was another, who survived to make the final sacrifice with his brothers.)

I know Nardole is just repeating what he's heard, but surely everyone knows that the Mary Celeste was abandoned due to the appearance of a Dalek temporal assassination squad.

The Ugly

Apparently Stuart Manning isn't doing posters anymore, and I don't know if I should be mad at the BBC or worried about him or what.

Theorising

Okay, so we're moving on to the (possible) redemption of Missy, and we have John Simm popping back up. Degeneration? The Two Masters? Is Missy going to cop a bullet for the Doctor fighting against her old self, or just do something to defeat him that the Doctor won't be able to stomach. I'm mostly hoping for the latter.

Top Quotes

"Oh my God, it even does lip-sync." - Bill gets to the heart of TARDIS translation

NARDOLE: We're looking for Bill, right?

DOCTOR: No, we're looking for the maximum danger in the immediate area and walking right into it.

NARDOLE: Yeah, but what about Bill?

DOCTOR: Well, if she's there, we're saving her. If she's not, she's safe already. Trust me, this is not my first rodeo.

"Is this what happens when you understand what everyone in the universe is saying? Everybody just sounds like children?" - Bill

"Sir, I must to protest in the strongest, most upset terms possible. Don't make me go squeaky voiced!" - Nardole

"See, that’s what I’m trying to teach you, Missy. You understand the universe, you see it, you grasp it, but you never learned to hear the music." - The Doctor gets his Thrawn on

Verdict

A really solid pseudo-historical, tackling one of the great historical mysteries with Doctor Who's usual flippancy. This is an episode I would have liked to see get more time, rather than feeling it needed it, which sets it somewhat apart.

8/10